Random: A World Without Energy

This past weekend I tagged along with my friend to his sister's house.  They were holding a so called birthday party for their daughter, which none of her school friends and all of the family members and relatives from both the father's and the mother's sides.  Let just say, it is an Asian way of having a birthday party for a kid.

While I was there, there were about ten kids under 12 from various relatives.  They were curious, spontaneous, and loud.  However, they were full of energy -- wanted me to answer this and that, or told me to do this and that.  After helping setup the tables, chairs, and foods, I got some time to talk with my friend.

While the kids were playing in front of me, I began to ponder about personal energy.  Not in a physical science sense, but in term of action energy.  Just like these kids, these kids display action energy by being playful, and curious.  However, from my own observation, all the proactive persons I know are at least eight years older than myself.  Maybe it is the people I know, but most do more complain than being proactive.  To me, it is somewhat disappointing.  Maybe mid-life crisis age has been lowered?  Maybe I just know the non-proactive people.


Myself, I was no different during high school, college, and university years.  I was unsocial and move/act as needed.  Then I truly find my life meaningless after working for a year.  It was empty.  No one to really talk to.  Not really belong to any group.  I felt dead.  Then I found a meaning in this meaningless living.  It is illogical, irrelevant, and totally pointless.  I thought about what I had wanted to do, and just try to achieve them.  It may not be perfect, and it maybe not be true, but what the hell.  If there is only one life to live, just do what I always wanted to do.  In that sense, I have become somewhat childish and erratic, but it makes my life worth living more -- พูดดี คิดดี ทำดี จิตดี

Random: A Blind Perception

Accepting an idea without any consideration
is nothing more than a blind perception.

Ever consider why you like the music that you like? Is it the music? Is it the lyric? Maybe it is the voice? Maybe it is the singer's appearance. Perhaps a fond memory that the song holds? Or, it could be the participation of people similar to ourselves.

Like music, people like each others based on various perspectives: the memory that the person holds; the charismatic personality; the romantic feeling; the depth of deep words and ideas; the comfort of another person who is receptive to your expression of idealism.

However, hatred is like music and likability, it is illogical at best. At worse, it is an excuse to destroy, when we know we can be better. Yet, some people cannot accept them. Cannot make peace with it.

To describe a deep thought or a sentimental idea is a breath of relief to the focal self. Yet, the social perception is anything but welcome such actions. Why consider an idea that requires a long analysis? Why consider an idea that only holds a personal meaning? The result may not be what you wish for. Is it even worth it, when there are other things to consider -- important things, urgent but unimportant things, and everything else. To sum it all up, there is a little thought to each thing -- important or not.

Accepting such an idea. Are you kidding me? But it is hard not to do.

Work: First 50 weeks

It has been about 50 weeks since I first started working at Y! in Burbank. It has been very difficult for a long stretch of those 50 weeks. But as I flied back to Burbank today, I did some calculation in my head about all the trips I took to San Jose. In the pass 50 weeks, I have made 25 trips to San Jose...

50 weeks x 5 days/week = 250 days
25 trips = 25 days in San Jose
25 days in SJ / 250 working days = 10% working days in San Jose

I rarely made any trip up north in the pass three months, but at 50 weeks, 10% of my working days are in San Jose! Hopefully, this is behind me, and the next 50 weeks will be a lot better.

In case that was not obvious, I do not particularly enjoy weekly flight.

Old Blog: Geocities

As you know, Geocities is going out of commission soon. Mostly likely by the end of October, and for sure by the end of the year. In case you did not know, my second sites is with Geocities (after FortuneCity), and it will join my Siteburg page -- into the emptiness. Strange enough, FortuneCity is still standing.

Anyways, for record. The kind people of www.ararchive.org has record some of it:
http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.geocities.com/kainr2/kitt1.html

Walk: A Place That Doesn't Exist

Today, I walked.

Supposedly, there is a store in Arcadia. But once there, there was no store by the name that I was looking for.

Supposedly, most people would be sad, angry, or disappointed after walking and jogging for 90 minutes. But once there, I have been relieved of another expectation.

Supposedly, people cannot help but to avoid pain and seek pursue pleasure. But once there, I found neither are likable or unpleasant. Neither could give me peace. Neither can comfort my eventual departure. Neither truly last in encouraging myself to continue.

I had mistook meaningful with desirability, like so many. At this point, I think it is the meaningful events of life that helps me understand that leaving, like coming, is another experience of living -- another meaningful event.