Random: Not what, but who is crazier?

If you are not alive, you have to be crazy to want to live.
Not knowing what the day will bring, or the night will lay.
Living with a thought of uncertainty, and an emotion called fear.
To be able to hear a pain that pierce your heart.
To hear your own scream in the midst of tick and tock on a silent bed.

If you are alive, you have to be crazy to want to die.
The land of boundary, and the deep secret that lies.
A cosmic space, a heavenly form, or a nightmarish crowd?
To feel joy from a smile that is not your own.
To be able to feel, even from a story before your time.

But more crazier is to not decide.
No suffer or joy. No one can or to understand.
Unable to hear your own voice, no matter how loud or silent.
Mind and idea flow into the midst of your own thought.
One that is original to your own, but formulated by others before you.
Feelings that seem un-differentiable than the empty emotion.