Simple Question. Long Time for an Answer

Ever got a simple question that you have no answer? Like, the name of that person you knew in high school. Or maybe a face of the person whom you used to talked back 10 years ago. I am sure each person has some of those questions around in there head. So simple, but simply unanswered.

I knew a Thai person back in high school that graduated couple years before me. We were not close, but she was one of the few Thai people I talked to in high school, which is something unique in itself. Along the way in the past 12 years, I had forgotten her name and it bothered me ever since.

However, over the pass weekend, I stumble on an old high school yearbook that finally answered my question. It seemed surreal, because it was the only yearbook from the 90s in the historical museum, which happened to be a year that included her and myself also.

I took pictures of her and some of my friends, and it reminded me about how long ago that was. Myself, I was impassive. Some of my friends, they look younger than high school kids. Then again, we were kids back then.

So, what is the point of this story? Be proactive, and the answer will be within reach. Even if it's 12 years later. I had been laying around playing games or doing the same things for most of my life, and the question remained unanswered for so long. It was not until I started to become more proactive in the last few years that I began to discover more answers to my questions, and my life. I observe, analyze, and question life until I was 25. At that point, when I found it meaningless to live, then I began to live a life.

Random: Free Time Activities P1

Here is a list of things that I could do when should I have free time:
* come up with creative and [maybe] funny pictogram
* finish up articles, books, and manga that I started reading
* community event volunteer
* learn to play a music instrument
* going to several places - museum, festivals, restaurants, etc.
* biking
* run marathon
* ...

I will come up with more when I could think of more.

Random: Listen to Yourself

Ever talk to yourself? If you can then it means you can be or are beside yourself. Keep at it, and you will become truly conscious of your own behavior, but not your emotion or thought. Continue at it, you will be in control of your own self. At the road end, you will lose your sense of self.

I do not think you can consistently be aware of self and being yourself. Eventually, you will question who are you, and who is yourself then. You may know or understand others well, but not yourself.

Random: Why don't I blog

Expression of self is not easy. It is not easy to understand myself. I guess I can explain about event throughout the day. Things that happened and my thought at that time. It would make hella lot more sense than all these previous posts.

Like how I sit at the airport terminal waiting for the plane to arrive yesterday (March 24), and how I went to eat at Amarin Thai at Great America Parkway for lunch. I can complain about how its beef noodle (aka boat noodle) is not very good -- they should have use better beef. I can complain about how they ran out of fried banana with honey, or the lack of Yen-Ta-Fo noodle. Maybe I can even talk about the dish they drop and broke in the kitchen, or the small area of the restaurant. Better yet, I can talk about its decoration or their employees' conversation and speech style (they were speaking in Thai without knowing that I am Thai). Seriously, I really thought they would be more casual in their conversations. I could write about the trick I learn from Southwest's magazine. I could have talk about the thank you email from a co-worker that was sent out at 1 AM in the morning. All these events and possibilities, but I chose to write about the cryptic inner thought and emotions that truly lack a definite form or good description.

I may know what I did, but not the thought or emotion into it.

เสียงดนตรีหรือสายลมโชย
ใบไม้ร่วงโรยกับเมฆสีดำ
ชีวิตนั้นจะชอกช้ำหรือสวยงามแค่ไหน

แต่สุดท้ายแล้วมันก็ผ่านไป
เกิดขึ้นมาก็มีวันจบไป
โลกยังคงหมุนเวียนและเปลี่ยนไป
สุดแต่ใครที่จะเข้าใจในเรื่องนี้

โมโหโกรธากับฟ้าคะนอง
ชื่อเสียงเงินทองลาภยศรางวัล
ชีวิตนั้นจะโศกสันต์หรือรื่นเริงแค่ไหน

จึงอยากบอกเธอนะคนดี
ใช้ชีวิตให้มี ความสุข ด้วยวันและเวลาที่เธอมี

Random: A bit more

A little closer.
No...
A bit more.

Things that seems so near is never touch.
Reaching for the far, and get no where.
How do you like it so far this life?

Like all the goodness that ever been done,
there is a lack of sincerity.
No goal achieve in the end.
Is there anything else to try?

Don't pretend you know.
But to not know is not acceptable.
Seeking the truth only lead to doubt.
Should I surrender right now?