Random:

It goes back to what he who had left said, "What do you not know?"
I replied, "How do I know what I do not know?"
He responded, "Well, it is important to realized what you do not know."
He paused a little and continued, "... and make sure you know it."

I agreed with what this brilliant mind had said. However, to be that person that leverages and applies these points is a different story.

There I am, today, trying to explain something. Then there they are, trying to explain to me about what I should do, without fully listened first or understood what I am doing. Should I have cut them off, and told them the real deal? They are in the a hurry to talk, but not listen. I am always listening, but talk slowly.

I do know why these people do not listen. They are always in a rush. There is no time. Not to listen or understand. They did not say anything wrong, but it did not applied here. What I do not know is how to make them slow down and listen carefully. I do not know is how few individuals come up with a noteworthy opinion or questions before thinking it thoroughly. Yet, most just said random stuff.

I realized what I do not know is why so few people are being honest.
I realized what I do not know is what I expect out of my life.
I realized what I do not know is how to other people truly happy.
I realized what I do not know is when I can ever truly be myself.
I realized what I do not know is who is really behind that mask.
I realized what I do not know is where all these words will lead to...

I understood the message of the brilliant mind, but never able to figure him out as a person.

Goal: In Five Year

I have thought about it for a long time. After working at this place, I have come to realized that my dreams and goals will not come true with waiting. The longer I wait... the window gets a bit smaller.

Nobody else will convince me to get a master degree.

Nobody else can make my dream into reality.

I am tired of not knowing what I want.
I am agitated of waiting for dreams to happened.
I am fed up with compromising myself for others' wishes.

I am fired up. It will start with a master degree, but it won't stop there.
It won't be easy, that I understand. Not that young nor much free time anymore.

In five years: a master degree in computer science/engineer.

Random: Big Plan

Who are you if without any ambition, goal, or dream.
Who will you be if without moving toward your goal.

It is almost 3 AM, and I have been trying to sleep for the last 4 hours. It could have been the coffee, but the effect is way too long. But I think it is the big plan that I have thought about for the last week: a master degree.

I didn't realized before, but couple weeks ago I found out that majority of people in my group got a master degree or better. I know a lot of my friends are getting one, but it didn't register until now. Considering this, and factor 10 years into the future, a master degree will be essential in getting a good job.

It has to start, there is no compromise. Period.

Random: High Five

Simple things that used to be so irrelevant.

It seemed like years ago since I last did high-five with a stranger. Then today it happened. With a stranger over a Foosball game, despite scoring on my own goal. I felt something. Not sure if it is just a nostalgic feeling of "good old time", a sadness by how long it has been, or a self-pity from seeing them happily went to play soccer afterward.

It was Friday, and 15 minutes before 5 o'clock.
They probably are not technical-engineers.
Should I be jealous of that?

Random: Konkai wa ...

I don't know the exact cause, but there are the feelings of unrest both physically and mentally. I do not have that feeling of calmness or at peace for a while now. Could it work? Could it be the coffee? Could it the subconscious' impulse? Could it be the lack of free time? Could it be the physical activity?

Maybe it is the people.
Maybe it is myself.