Random: Prediction of Tomorrow's Adults

My prediction of the US economy and adults 20 years from now:
- Invest more money than now.
- More saving than the current generation.
- Complain a lot more about high tax.
- Less likely to take risk in entrepreneurship.

Random: Wake Up

Normally, I wake up around 6:30 AM for work, but recently, I would randomly wake up around 5:30 AM. It is bothersome. It is difficult to sleep because there are dreams... often reflecting on my own hopeless desire, and the past mistakes. At time, it was pointless to sleep any further, and I would simply lay there pondering. Occasionally, I would just get up.

Is it worth it to sleep anymore?

I feel tire mentally and physically. But at least when I am up, I can do something. I am tire of waiting for good things to happened. Regret. Regretting not doing what I should sooner. Regret of just waiting. And absolutely, tire of regretting. I rather walk for hours on a hot sunny day until my legs are about to collapse. I rather run until the senses are numb.

Won't ever achieve that desire. Somethings are impossible.
Can't stop dreaming either. Then there would be nothing to live for.

Random: Who I saw and What I have seen

Today I went to Sunnyvale on a business purpose with my coworker, and by luck I saw someone I recognized walking across the street next to me. Or at least someone I believed to recognized. I look at him for quite a while as he sped up pass both of us. The man looked rush with a vibe of frustration. My coworker continued the conversation, and I paid no more attention.

Then at 5 PM, I saw him again, walking passed the lobby of Yahoo. Again, no one seemed to notice this person but me. Again, he quickly walk passed the door and reached for the cell phone. At the end of the day, my curiosity got the better of me, and I talked to my coworker about this man.

You know, this morning, I thought I saw Jerry.

Yeah, that is him.

Oh, really? You know I am surprise that nobody say a word to him. He walk passed twenty employees, and no one say hello or goodbye.

My coworker went on to explain the lack of fascination for the man, which I still could not understand. Is it normal for the employees to not say a thing to the CEO? Is it a good thing when the CEO said nothing to his employees? So people do not matter anymore?

Should a CEO be ignored for his mistake, or does he has to be a innovative genius in order to be recognized? Even as a stranger, sometimes unknown people on the street say hello to me. But as an employee not saying anything to your employer, who you recognized, that is weird to me.

Random: Freedom

Recently, I watched a documentary on college entrance exam in China. It followed few different high school seniors throughout the year. The show present the lifestyle of these students who studied restlessly for the exam that would determine their future: college, career, and economic status. At the end of this documentary, one of the top high school graduated was quoted:

When I was studying so hard, I thought the most important thing was freedom.
You can't demand freedom from society, your school, or even from your own family.
You must rely on yourself to find your freedom.
If you can set your own heart free, then nothing can stop you.

-ZL

Upon hearing it, I thought to myself, "She got it right on the last two parts. But knowing what she just said, her life will filled with a struggle to be happy." When you free your mind and heart, freedom exist without any border, because any thought is possible, and any action can be taken. There is no limitation of choices.

So, why would her life will filled with struggle for happiness? Freedom often lack the long term fulfillment, because you are constantly refining the definition of freedom, constantly acting on the meaning of freedom, and constantly monitor yourself: behavior and thought. In doing so, you becomes someone beside yourself. Eventually there will a point where she will question herself, "what make me, a physical body with mind and emotion, an individual self with freedom?" This unsettling question has no right or wrong answer. It can be solved only when she is satisfied with her own answer. But even with a conclusive answer, her happiness is not assured.

Freedom is not just about making decisions on choices defined by society. Freedom is the ability to think and reason the choices, to determine the best solution regardless of whether it's unique or common, and to act upon it. Freedom in this sense is not so easy or absolute. Actually, it is a hard work, and quite complex, because your philosophy and ideology come into play.

Ignorant is a bliss.

Many have said it, and I agreed with it. At least they are not questioning themselves time after time until the end of their lives.

Random: Chino Hills Earthquake

Here is what I did during the Chino Hills earthquake on July 29, 2008.

Around 11:45 in the software lab, I just copied the software object file to the network folder in order to test the build. Just then, I heard a crack on the roof. Only about 5 seconds afterward before I realized that it was an earthquake. I headed for the lab's door before another shake came.

Few people around the area aggregated about a minute later, and talked about the quake. Few minutes later, I was back to testing, and some people went to lunch. In the cafeteria during lunch time, the TVs were tuned to CNN. The saddest part was how CNN tried to hype up the lack of major or minor damages.